With society as it is these days, people are starting life later. With university thrown in the mix, the increased cost of living, saving for a house, the thought of having a family has been pushed to the back of a lot of people’s minds until a later stage of life. And that is where I viewed our situation. Save money, buy a house, have kids and spend our remaining days living the dream. We’d always talked about it so that’s what we’d do. Whether the pregnancy was planned or not, finding out the news is a situation that is likely to require a bit of a sit down. This is a very personal moment and one that will vary from couple to couple but I thought sharing my experience would give a better picture of our story.
When we found out we were having a baby it was somewhat a shock. My fiancé and I have been together for 10 years now, we’d talked about kids, marriage nothing has been a secret, we had the same things in mind. We weren’t planning for a baby but we weren’t necessarily being careful, yet at the same time didn’t think it would happen, so when we found out, it was a mixed bag of feelings. I first went into panic mode; I’m too young, I don’t have the money for this, I wanted a house first, what about engagement, do we get married what happens now?! I secondly started scanning over the last time we got boozy, panicking we have already ruined our child’s development before we had a chance to meet them.
With the shock came a lot of emotion for the both of us, but on hearing the news you have to remember it’s the BOTH of you… if that’s going through your head, imagine what’s going through hers!!
You see, on finding out the news as a 25 year old lad, I consider myself young, and naturally the thought of “oh shit what are we going to do here” comes to the surface. After a couple of days of whatsapping back and forth between us, we realised we didn’t really know what we were supposed to do, so we told my fiances mum and with that the weight was lifted… it became easier to take on board what was happening and what we were supposed to do and the process immediately became enjoyable. Frightening… but enjoyable (there’s a theme of that throughout).
No situation is the same, many of you may have been trying for years, I have met couples who have experienced difficulty, some the same as us and some even different to that. So on hearing news like this it will be absolute elation, and for us it was just that, only it took a couple of days to kick in.